


Never Easy

by fowl68



Category: Tales of Symphonia
Genre: Arranged Marriage, Backstory, F/M, Jealousy, One-Sided Attraction, Post-Game(s), Pre-Game(s), Self-Esteem Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-14
Updated: 2013-10-14
Packaged: 2017-12-29 09:40:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,245
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1003862
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fowl68/pseuds/fowl68
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Their story was out of one of the romance novels  that her great-aunt had given her. But it wasn't one of the happy, predictable ones. Theirs was wild and fickle and no one could guess how it ended. </p><p>Princess Hilda's POV. Peripheral Shelos.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Never Easy

* * *

 

_Envy is thin because it bites but never eats._

_~Spanish Proverb_

* * *

 

She first met him at one of countless parties. She hadn't known who he was then. She'd gravitated towards him because he was the only other kid of her age at that particular party—and, she'd admit to herself later, his hair had seemed so pretty then. Before him, she never knew anyone with hair that red before.

He'd been a little shy then, but he still smiled and shuffled his feet before holding out his hand. "'M Zelos. Zelos Wilder."

Shaking hands seemed very grown up then, but she'd done it because that was how she'd been taught. "Hilda."

After that party, Hilda started noticing him more. He'd wander through the party, like most children did, but somewhere along the way, he started disappearing. One time, Hilda decided to follow him.

She found him outside, in the gardens, climbing and jumping dramatically from stone benches and low garden walls. When he saw her, he froze.

"What're you doin'—doin _g_ —here?" He wrinkled his nose at the extra consonant and Hilda grinned, recognizing the effects of etiquette lessons.

"I wondered where you'd gone. It's awful lonely for me in there."

Zelos hesitated before asking, "…Would you like to play with me?"

Hilda's eyes lit up. No one had ever asked to play with her before, not like this. "Yes, uh-huh! But, uh…what're you playing?"

Zelos shrugged. "Just preten—pre, ten, din _g_." He did the nose wrinkle again and annoyance twisted his lips. "I was a pirate two minutes ago."

"And what do you want to be right now?"

He grinned brilliantly at her. "Something that'll let me fly."

* * *

 

They're close friends after that. Zelos went by her room several times a week. More than once, he brought a shawl and a simple dress he'd found in the market that "reminded him of her" and they'd go walking through Meltokio.

A few times, Zelos told her about his younger half-sister, Seles. He even kept a photograph of her in his pocket, creased and worn from many refoldings. He lit up that time, brotherly pride and gentle smile beautiful. He was never ashamed of Seles and would defend her reputation among the gossipers of the nobility with flashing eyes, clenched fists and sharp, poisonous words.

Somewhere along the way, Hilda found that small jolts of electricity sparked whenever he touched her and that, sometimes, if he smiled a certain way, she would find herself blushing. When she mentioned it to her mother, her mother simply chuckled and said, "That's what being in love feels like."

* * *

 

When Zelos was thirteen and Hilda was almost not-eleven-anymore, they were sitting on one of the balconies of the castle, feet hanging over the edge as they watched the city below them.

"I met someone today," Zelos started. He didn't stutter or leave off the G's on words anymore. Hilda found that she couldn't remember when exactly it had all stopped. "When I was down at the Research Academy because they wanted to take a look at my Cruxis Crystal."

"Really? Who?"

"This girl named Sheena. She's from Mizuho, apparently, but you should've seen the way she chewed out this one guy for bursting in on her in the shower—"

"What? Why?"

"Oh, apparently it was an accident. She had dropped something heavy—I think it was the shampoo or something—and he'd thought she fell, so he just ran in, panicking, wondering if she was all right."

Hilda chuckled. "How gallant."

"She didn't think so. First, she was wondering why the hell he ran into the bathroom when he knew she was taking a shower—"

"Logical."

"I thought so. So he explained himself and then she just stared at him for a few minutes before asking him if he thought she was really that clumsy that she'd trip and break her head open in the bathtub."

"Is she?"

"From the looks on the other researchers' faces, absolutely." Zelos was grinning and shaking his head. Hilda felt her heart sink a little. She couldn't remember Zelos ever having that look on his face for her, or any other girl for that matter. "You should've seen it."

Hilda took comfort in the fact that, at least, Zelos didn't go down to the Research Academy often. Perhaps the Sheena girl would leave town soon and things could go back to normal.

* * *

 

Hilda hadn't seen Zelos in nearly two weeks. It was the longest she'd never seen him. In those two weeks, summer chilled to autumn, the leaves morphing their colors and the very scent of the air changed.

He showed up knocking at her window, late at night. Hilda was half-debating with herself on whether to go to sleep yet because her eyelids were drooping, but she also had to finish this book by tomorrow, or so her tutor said.

When she saw the familiar pale blue eyes and shock of red hair, she threw the blankets off her and immediately opened the window. "Where _were_ you?"

He smiled a little apologetically. "It was my sister's birthday last week."

Seles had been relocated to an Abbey a few years back. Zelos had mentioned it in passing, like he did just about everything that had to do with her.

"You were gone for two weeks though."

"It was a long trip, though I will fully admit to having been sidetracked when I got back to Meltokio."

"Oh really?" Hilda thought that another kind of girl might have been annoyed or even angry with Zelos, but she had always taken after her mother—or so everyone told her—and she was much too mild-mannered for things like anger.

"Yeah. See, I came in through my secret entrance because the gates were closed—" Hilda hadn't ever seen Zelos' secret way in and out of Meltokio, but he'd told her about it. She thought it would be nice to be able to leave Meltokio whenever you wanted. She hardly ever left the walled city. "And Sheena was there. She said she went for a walk, to get some air, and I offered to walk her back to the Academy."

"That simple?"

"Yup. Otherwise, I might've been here at a decent time."

Hilda just stepped aside to let him climb in. "I've still got some tea leftover. And half a crepe."

"You're a lifesaver."

As Zelos ate, Hilda thought about this Sheena. She had never seen her, but she supposed she would be pretty—even beautiful. She'd have long, flowing hair and perfect porcelain skin—which made Hilda glance down at her pale freckles. She'd probably be exotic-looking, would be graceful and lovely and elegant.

But when Zelos focused on her, a slight frown tilting his lips down, she just smiled at his unasked question. "I'm fine."

* * *

 

When she was thirteen, Zelos stole her away before a lesson. "Where are you taking me?"

"To meet someone." Zelos handed her the simple dress and scarf and they found an empty servants' chamber for her to change in while Zelos stood guard.

He took her out one of the servants' doors and through the castle gardens, down the great stairs dividing the Nobles' Quarters and the lower districts until they were in the Imperial Research Academy. A girl was coming up the stairs, an empty coffee pot and a bucket in her hands.

"What're you doing here?" she asked.

Zelos smiled. "Got someone I wanted you to meet. Sheena, this is Princess Hilda. Hilda, Sheena."

Sheena _was_ beautiful, but not in the way that Hilda had been thinking. Her hair wasn't long and flowing at all, though it was black like strong coffee. Her hair was actually cut rather short, though it was difficult to tell with the way she kept it tied up. Her skin was far from porcelain. It was tanned a healthy light brown and her eyes were slightly slanted at the edges, providing an interesting frame for hazel irises. Sheena did, however, have curves. Noticeable ones, even with the breeches and the man's shirt.

Sheena smiled. "I'd shake your hand, Hilda, but unfortunately, mine are a bit full right now."

Hilda blinked at her and found herself returning the smile, albeit a little reluctantly. No one but Zelos had ever called her simply Hilda when they knew who she was. It endeared Sheena to her just a little. "Pleasure to meet you."

"The same. And you have my condolences."

Hilda frowned. "What for?"

Sheena jerked her head towards Zelos. "For putting up with him on a far more regular basis than I do. You must have the patience of a saint."

"He's not so bad."

Sheena arched a disbelieving eyebrow. "If you say so." She looked like she was ready to say more, but there was yelling from downstairs.

"Sheena! Stop flirting!"

Sheena rolled her eyes, set the coffee pot and the bucket down on the ground and jogged down the stairs. Zelos grinned at her and mouthed 'Listen to this.'

Hilda leaned over the banister to hear better. "…don't have to get you guys your coffee. I'm doing it because I want to, simple as that." Sheena was halfway up the stairs when she looked back. "Oh, and it wasn't flirting!"

Someone down below laughed. "It's 'cause you're so in love with me right, Fujibayashi? It's hard, I know. I'm so irresistible."

Sheena laughed, not unkindly. "In your dreams, Womack!"

Hilda stared at her. "You let them treat you like that?"

Sheena just shrugged. "They never mean it. They just like to tease me."

"What's the bucket for?" Zelos asked.

"Apparently, they're running low on water for their experiments." Seeing the confusion flash across his face, Sheena added, "I don't ask what they use it for. I think I'm better off not knowing."

"We can't let you go off on your ownm" Zelos said and Hilda agreed. The streets were dangerous, particularly for pretty young women.

Sheena tilted her head challengingly at him. "Are you saying I can't protect myself?"

Zelos didn't back down from her temper. Instead, his lips curled into a smirk, hands sliding into his pockets. "I'm saying that you should swallow your pride and let us help."

"Not for something like this I won't." Sheena went behind the counter and placed the coffee pot underneath a machine and pressed a few buttons. There was some hissing and spitting before the constant drip drip of coffee being made began. She grabbed the bucket and, just before she left, she turned back to Hilda. "It was very nice to meet you."

Hilda was still staring after her long after she'd disappeared into the noonday crowds.

"She's something, isn't she?"

Zelos and Hilda both turned to see a scientist coming up the stairs. His brown hair was flyaway and thick-framed glasses were settled onto his nose. Zelos just nodded. "Yeah, she is."

* * *

 

The first time Hilda saw Sheena at an official function, she nearly didn't recognize her. Her hair was neatly pulled back into a bun and the dress—dark plum with off the shoulder straps—showed her curves to her advantage. But the things most noticeable because of the dress were the lean muscles of her arms, which led the eye down to her slender hands. Hilda noticed thin, white scars covering the backs of them and wondered where they came from.

"Hello."

Sheena looked over at the speaker, startled to find that she recognized her. Hilda's dark blonde curls were loose around her shoulders and she was dressed in the pale blue of spring skies. "Um…hi."

"You seem nervous."

Sheena smiled a little sheepishly. "Is it that obvious?"

"Only a little. Forgive me if this is going to sound rude, but, why are you here?"

"I'm the Mizuho Ambassador, although right now, I'm really starting to wish I wasn't. No offense, but this party is…kind of dull."

Hilda chuckled despite herself. "Believe me, I am aware. It's not so bad when you have someone to talk to."

Sheena tucked a loose lock of hair behind her ear, smile still on her lips. "No, I suppose not."

Arms were suddenly around both of their shoulders and Hilda noticed the way that Sheena instinctively tensed, hands already forming fists until she realized who it was. "And how are my favorite hunnies this evening?"

Hilda had to take a moment to wonder when Zelos started using the word 'hunnies' and so she didn't get a chance to answer. Sheena however, just snapped, "I'm not your hunny."

Zelos tilted his head curiously at her. "Even if you're not, you look very pretty tonight."

Sheena surprised Hilda that time because her cheeks went pink, even as she said, "Shut up, Wilder."

Zelos grinned a little. "What, you don't believe me?"

"I saw myself in the mirror before I came here."

"Then you must be half-blind."

"Or you are," Sheena retorted.

"I've been told I'm in perfect health all my life."

"Then you haven't seen a real psychiatrist."

Hilda watched as they kept bantering and she envied how familiar and easy it was. She and Zelos had never had this, despite their years of knowing each other. Sheena was intelligent—not that Hilda wasn't, but they were two very different kinds of intelligence. Sheena was all sharp instinct and friendly rivalry where Hilda was book smarts and political debates.

"Ms. Fujibay—" The man stuttered over her name, but Sheena seemed to recognize it despite that and turned to look at him.

"Yes?"

"You are the Mizuho Ambassador, are you not?"

Hilda watched, fascinated, as the sharp-tongued young woman became all perfect posture and cool politeness as Zelos' arm left her shoulder. It wasn't a look that suited her. "I am. Why, is something wrong?"

"My colleagues and I were wondering if you would answer a few questions for us."

"Of course. Lead the way."

Zelos finally turned to Hilda. The glow that had been on his face from Sheena's presence was gone now. Hilda was only able to notice it in its absence. "How're you holding up?"

She frowned in confusion. "With what?"

Zelos made a vague gesture at the entire hall. "Isn't this party for that cousin of yours? The one from Altamira?"

"Yes, it is." Hilda had actually been successfully forgetting about why she was here. Her cousin was sixteen and beautifully blonde, a social butterfly. And she wasn't nearly as friendly as Sheena. Not to Hilda, at least.

Zelos lowered his voice a little. "I heard that she…"

That she was trying to work her way up to next in line for the throne. The princess knew the gossip better than he did this time. "Yeah."

Zelos tightened the arm around her shoulder so that it was more of a hug. "Want me to drive her out of town?"

" _Zelos!"_

"What? She deserves it. You're next in line by birth and by skills. You've been training for it all your life and she's been off in Altamira. Not even getting ready to go to the university there."

Hilda smiled. Zelos had a strong protective streak. "It's alright. I…I won't let her even try to outshine me."

He laughed. "That's my girl." He tilted his head, as though hearing something no one else could before he turned to see Sheena stalking away from the men who'd come to question her.

Zelos caught her arm as she walked past, Sheena instinctively whirling defensively. Zelos didn't back away. "Darling, what's wrong?"

Hilda froze. Darling. He'd called her darling. She'd only ever heard Zelos call one other person that and that was Seles.

"They're ignorant, prejudiced…" Sheena trailed off in another language that was liquid sounding and exotic. Mizuhoan, Hilda realized.

Hilda saw the way that Zelos' hand on Sheena's arm tightened momentarily in anger and the way that Sheena didn't flinch away the way that Hilda knew that she had the few times that Zelos had done something similar to her.

"I've an idea," Zelos said quietly enough so that only Hilda and Sheena could hear him. "Let's have our own private party. I'll meet you two on the balcony way towards the back of this building. The one overlooking the gardens."

Hilda nodded, she knew the one, and Sheena only shot him a quick confused look before she was following Hilda down one of the side doors. The balcony was wide and just a bit too shadowy, but it seemed to suit tonight. Zelos joined them not five minutes later and he grinned triumphantly when he pulled out two tubs of ice cream from beneath his shirt as well as several spoons.

Hilda stared at him. "Where did you get those?"

"The kitchens," Zelos said casually. "I managed to get…mint chocolate chip, whatever that is, and…chocolate."

"Pass the mint one over," Sheena said, smiling gratefully when Zelos slid it over, a spoon resting on its top. "I haven't had ice cream in a while."

Hilda popped the top off the chocolate. "Do they not have ice cream in Mizuho?"

"Not really. We're a poor village. The last time I had it, I must have been…eight years old, maybe seven."

"Why don't you all just leave to live in the other cities of Tethe'alla?"

Sheena shrugged. "Home is home. Mizuhoans have lived on our land for centuries. Besides, Tethe'allans think we're freaks, things like that. Who would have us?"

"Are all Mizuhoans like you?"

Sheena looked over at Hilda and tilted a tired smile at her. "I'm the odd one out, actually, but they're good people."

Hilda let her ice cream melt on her tongue as she thought over the information. Virtually nothing was known about Mizuho other than the legends and tall tales that, as Sheena had said, depicted all the residents as evil, sly thieves and assassins. But, Hilda thought, if Mizuho could raise someone like Sheena, they certainly couldn't be all bad.

Zelos said something that had Sheena clapping a hand over her mouth to keep from spitting out ice cream, but her eyes were shining with laughter. And Zelos was grinning cheekily and he was sitting just a little too close to Sheena and suddenly, Hilda was trying very hard not to hate her.

* * *

 

Hilda had become accustomed to seeing Zelos every Celsius Week. Not every day of the Week, but at least twice. This year, she didn't see him at all and she tried not to think about why as she watched the snow blanket Meltokio.

The Week passed in a flurry of dancing and red wine; of elegant dresses and extravagant parties. Many people asked Hilda about Zelos, about where the Chosen was this year. Hilda hooked on a fake smile and said that the Chosen had gone to Altamira to enjoy the warmer climate.

In truth, she had no idea where he'd gone and she found herself a little angry that he hadn't at least left a note.

The next time she saw him, his sixteenth birthday had passed and it was almost three months into the new year. There were freckles on his skin and a strange sort of relaxed air about him. When Hilda asked where he was, Zelos hesitated before tugging her well away from the crowds.

"I was in Mizuho."

Hilda stared at him. "Are you serious?"

"As a heart attack."

"How did-?"

"Sheena invited me to spend Celsius Week over there."

"Celsius Week was nearly four months ago," she said it automatically, but she could guess why he'd stayed. Perhaps it didn't snow in Meltokio. Or perhaps he'd wanted to spend more time alone with Sheena.

Zelos shrugged a little. "Mizuho's the kind of place where, when you go, you kind of never want to leave."

* * *

 

She found them on the couch one night, when she was sixteen. They had been staying in Zelos' mansion after a dinner party ran late and their respective places of residence were too far away, so Sheena and Hilda stayed in the guest rooms.

Hilda didn't consider herself a very heavy sleeper. She was usually woken by the servants beginning to make their rounds outside in the corridor. So when she came downstairs, dressed and ready because her mother had instilled it in her that a lady was never seen in her sleepwear by anyone other than her husband, to see Sheena and Zelos curled up on the couch.

Zelos' head was on Sheena's stomach and one of Sheena's hands was lightly tangled in his hair. They're completely asleep and Hilda tried very hard not to wonder why they were sleeping downstairs in the first place because the last time she saw them, they were each in their respective rooms and how had she not heard them moving through the hallway?

She nearly passed by them the first time, but Sheena's free hand jerked when Hilda stepped on a loose floorboard, drawing her attention.

It was moments later that Sheena stirred, dark hair mussed and almond-shaped eyes blinking free of sleep. She half-gently shook Zelos awake, tugging her hand free of his hair. "Y' gotta get off, Wilder."

Zelos' nose wrinkled in the same way it had when he'd stumbled over his words when he was a child and he just pressed his face closer into Sheena stomach. She rolled her eyes and punched him in the shoulder, which made him yelp and rock back on his heels.

"What was that for?"

"All that air in your head is really heavy," Sheena told him, swinging her legs over the side of the couch. "Good morning, Hilda."

Hilda gaped at her. How could she be so utterly nonchalant about having been found sleeping with a man? And she shoved the jealousy down _(Why couldn't it have been her? Why couldn't she be as comfortable with Zelos?)_ , her manners finally catching up with her. "Good morning."

Zelos smiled at her, hair sleep-mussed and pajama pants low on his bony hips. "So, breakfast?'

They ate toast and eggs and fruit and Hilda observed them carefully. Sheena was in her pajamas—small feet poking out from beneath the hems of her sweatpants and a blue tank top that exposed muscled arms and the little white scars—and looking completely at ease. Hilda's mother would be appalled at that, would say that that wasn't how a lady acted and how dare she?

Hilda believed that Sheena was the farthest thing from a lady and the strangest part was that she was entirely okay with it. Did they have ladies in Mizuho? Did they have etiquette lessons and were they told when women were allowed to speak and when they weren't? About how to sit and which fork to use? How to enunciate and how to keep a level tone?

Hilda refused to think about the fact that perhaps Zelos didn't want a lady. Maybe he wanted this spitfire-and-sass, smiles-and-steel woman.

And Hilda knew she could never be anything like her.

* * *

 

"Why don't you just tell him no?"

Hilda stared at Sheena, who was curled up in an armchair, a fox-like creature in her lap. It had been a few months since Hilda had first met the creature—who, according to Sheena, was a Summon Spirit and, even wilder, Sheena was a summoner, like the ones in the old stories—named Corrine.

"He's my father and this is tradition," Hilda said. She was eighteen now and her father was talking about politically correct marriages and whether the Chosen would be a good choice now that he'd changed so very much into not what the Church's public image needed to be.

Of course, Hilda left out the latter when explaining the situation to Sheena and Zelos, though she thought that Zelos didn't need her to tell him that. He was well aware of Meltokio politics.

"You're a grown woman."

"Do they have arranged marriages in Mizuho?" Hilda noticed the way that Zelos was suddenly listening a little too intently.

Sheena sipped at her coffee—something they didn't have in Mizuho, apparently. "Yes, they do. Or, they did when I was growing up. I don't know if things've changed that much."

Sheena was living primarily in Meltokio now, having found a small apartment above a sandwich shop. Not that she spent very much time there. Half of her things were in Zelos' mansion in the room that was now designated as 'hers'.

"But, even if they still do it, that doesn't change the fact that you have a right to speak for yourself. If you're that opposed to it, you should tell him so."

"It's for the good of the family bloodline," Hilda said miserably, repeating the words drilled into her since she'd been old enough to know about arranged marriages.

"Then let the family marry him." Sheena snorted and Zelos chuckled a little.

"She's right, Hilda. You shouldn't be making yourself miserable for him. Shouldn't be making yourself miserable for anyone, for that matter."

"I have to do it."

"You're convinced of it, aren't you? That you don't have a choice in this?" Sheena was watching her with narrowed eyes, a slight frown tilting at the corners of her lips.

"Of course I have a choice," Hilda snapped. "But it's between making the selfish one or not."

"It's not selfish to want your own life, Hilda. Your father, he did get along fine before you were born." Sheena winced. "That didn't come out right."

"You're an orphan! You don't know what it feels like to disappoint a father, alright? I did it once before," She had been seven and had spoken against something. She would never forget his face after that. "And I never want to do it again."

Sheena's lovely features shuttered closed before she stood, nearly knocking Corrine to the ground as she did so, and walking out the front door.

"Goddess…" Hilda buried her face in her hands. "I…I didn't mean that. I can't believe—"

"I know, hunny." Zelos called all girls that these days _(Except for Sheena, her mind whispers. He calls Sheena darling and smiles in that certain way)_ , but Hilda knew he didn't mean it with her the same way he meant it with the other girls. "It's not an easy thing to think about."

Hilda raised her head to study the look on his face. "…How long have you known?" The Church would have arranged his marriage, would have taken control of the rest of his life.

Zelos toyed with a coin, flipping it over his knuckles. The backs of his hands were scarred now, with thin white lines that reminded Hilda of Sheena. "I suppose I've always known, but it only really hit me a few years back."

Hilda chuckled and she knew it was a bitter sound. "But…" She stopped herself from continuing.

"But I don't have any family to disappoint, right?" Zelos' pale pale blue eyes were intent on her. "It's fine, I get it. And for me, it's true. For Sheena…"

Hilda cursed under her breath using one of the words that she and Zelos had picked up on the streets years and years ago. "She has a family back in Mizuho?"

"Mm. A grandfather that she loves very much."

She was out of her seat the next instant. "I have to apologize. I shouldn't have—"

Zelos tugged her back down. "I completely agree, but if you go right now, you'll either come back with a black eye or with an earful of creative curses and a heap of shame. Better just to wait until she comes back."

It never occurred to Hilda how confident Zelos was that Sheena would return to his mansion. She was too busy focusing on how attuned to her moods Zelos was.

* * *

 

Sheena returned late, slipping in the front door silently. Hilda only saw her because she'd been sitting and focusing on the door for most of the afternoon, trying to figure out what she was going to say.

"…I'm sorry."

Sheena looked at her and there was an age-old tiredness in her eyes. "…It's alright. I don't blame you. Arranged marriages, they're stressful."

"Did-did someone try to arrange one for you?"

Sheena shook her head. "No. My friend, actually. He's been betrothed since we were…wow, we must have been ten years old."

"That—I can't imagine that. And he doesn't get a choice?"

"I don't know if he does." A slight, melancholy smile tilted her lips. "He's always been so loyal to the village that I doubt he would have spoken up even if he did."

"This might be a little out of line, but…don't you want to be married, Sheena? Don't you want to have a husband and children with a house of your own?"

Sheena sat beside Hilda on the sofa, forearms on her knees and hands clasped in between them. "As of now…no. I can't say that I do. Maybe in the future, but right now, all I want is just…to live my life. Why, is that what you want?"

"Yes, actually. I think I just want the choice of a husband to be mine."

"Fair enough. Your father would make you choose the most politically advantageous marriage, right?"

"Yes," Hilda replied, not quite sure where Sheena was going with this.

"And that would be Zelos, since he's the Chosen."

With their close acquaintance, Hilda had forgotten just how intelligent Sheena had to be in order to be Mizuho's only ambassador at thirteen years old. "Yes, yes it is." She hesitated. "Are you and he…?"

Sheena read her expression and feathery black eyebrows winged upwards. "Together?"

"Not the word I was going for, but sure."

Sheena laughed and shook her head. "Goddess, no. He's my best friend."

Hilda's heart hurt for Zelos. She'd seen how he looked at Sheena, how he lit up whenever she entered a room. This—'This' being the three of them or perhaps it was the two that were Sheena and Zelos and Hilda was simply an add-on, an extra added in for color _(Not that Sheena and Zelos needed anymore color)—_ was like something out of the romance novels that Hilda's great-aunt Mathilde had gotten her into reading since she was twelve and blushing over most of it. But it wasn't one of the happy, predictable ones. Their story was tumultuous and fickle and no one could guess how it ended.

Hilda hated Sheena in that moment for hurting him.

* * *

 

"I haven't seen Sheena in a while," Hilda began conversationally over a late lunch one afternoon.

Zelos looked over to her, the movement just a little too sharp, a little too quick, to be casual. "Neither have I. I think she's busy on Mizuho business."

"Oh really?" Hilda arched an eyebrow at him. He's been twenty for two months and Sheena's nineteenth birthday had been ten weeks ago. Hilda was turning nineteen in four months. She could feel the clock ticking—and surely, so can Zelos because he was no idiot, whatever he pretended to those noble girls that flocked around him—until the day that the announcement is made official. That the Chosen would wed the princess.

Hilda tried not to feel a little happy at that. And there were, after all, worse people to be in an arranged marriage with than her closest friend.

"Mm. I haven't talked to her in almost a month." Zelos toyed with the butter knife, flipping it absentmindedly over his knuckles the way he used to do it with coins. Suddenly, the white scars on his hands—nicks and cuts that had mystified her since she wasn't sure he'd answer if she asked—made sense.

"Those people—the Renegades—do you really believe what they said? About another world?" Hilda had been there, along with Sheena, Zelos, her father and the Pope, when the man with the trimmed beard and dark eyes strode into the palace, asking to speak with the King. He'd had some strange story—one that sounded like something out of the novels that that the Research Academy scientists kept on their bookshelves—about another world called Sylvarant and that they had a Chosen too.

Zelos shrugged. "Sort of. It's not the craziest thing I've ever heard, but it's close."

"The Renegades seemed very interested in the fact that Sheena was from Mizuho."

"Most people are," Zelos pointed out. "Mizuho is a mystery. No one knows anything about it except the villagers and they certainly aren't telling."

"Yes, but they were a different kind of interested. I can't explain it."

Zelos' smile was wicked, but Hilda was sure that only she and Sheena would have seen the faint traces of bitterness sharpening its edges. "Maybe the guy with a beard has a crush on her."

Hilda let a smile curl at her lips. "Don't let her hear you saying that. You know how Sheena is with such matters." The Mizuho Ambassador was uncomfortable with the subject of romance when it applied to her.

His smile faded, just a little. Had Hilda not known him so well, she might not have noticed at all. "Yeah, I do."

* * *

 

"I have a letter for the King. From Sheena of Mizuho."

She saw the way his focus sharpened his eyes going immediately to the boy in red. "What business do you have with Sheena Fujibayashi?"

Her father asked the Sylvaranti to wait in the other room while he read the letter. Hilda saw the way that Zelos listened to the words, eyes not focused on anything and she knew that he would be able to recite the letter word for word a month from now.

"Your Majesty, we cannot trust them. They wish to bring about the ruin of Tethe'alla," The Pope said immediately after the King was finished reading.

"You think so?" Zelos asked, still looking out the window at nothing.

"Do you have some evidence otherwise, Chosen?"

"Couldn't you tell? They're here for the girl, for the other Chosen. That's all they want. And if we agree to help them, we save Tethe'alla. As long as that Chosen doesn't become an angel, then Tethe'alla isn't put into decline and everyone wins."

"As picturesque as that ending would be, we can't trust them. They're from Sylvarant. They will double-cross us as soon as we turn our backs."

Hilda wasn't surprised when Zelos came up with a startlingly simple solution. "Then don't turn your backs. Don't let down your guard. Sooner or later, they will and you can make your next move then. You have to win their trust first."

It's the latter that surprised Hilda. She hadn't known Zelos to be so ruthless, so absolutely political.

"No, Your Majesty. We should take them out now. They're a threat."

The King looked between the Pope and the Chosen, not sure who to side with. "Hilda, what do you think?"

He had been asking his daughter's opinion on several political maneuvers for years, but never one this big. Hilda glanced between the men and said, "The Pope. It leaves nothing to chance."

In truth, she agreed with Zelos, but his ruthlessness unnerved her. She thought it was because it would give him time to ask the Sylvaranti about Sheena and—if she's right—then she knew any romantic relationship between she and him would never work. If Zelos was willing to go so far for Sheena, then Hilda—with her dull gold-brown hair and her small breasts and hips with her freckles and her bland personality—didn't stand a chance.

* * *

 

Hilda was with him while he belted on a sword—slender and perfectly balanced with gold filigree and careful tooling of the leather that made up the handle. "Why are you going with them?"

"Sheena's gone back to Mizuho."

"Then why don't you go to Mizuho? It's not like you don't know where it is."

Zelos looked at her, brow furrowed a little. "I don't. I know the general area, but she blindfolded me on the last like five miles to the village. Besides, even if I did know, you don't know Mizuho. Their honor system is very strict. If I go there, I could just make things worse. But if I go with the Sylvaranti, then Sheena will probably meet up with them soon."

"You lied, didn't you?"

"When?"

"I said that I hadn't seen Sheena in a while. You said that you hadn't seen her in a month."

"I wasn't lying then.=," Zelos said quietly. "She'd already left for Sylvarant."

"You didn't tell me."

"You never asked where she was."

She hadn't, Hilda realized, but there had been a time when that distinction wouldn't have had to be made. "What happens when you find her? Or she finds you? Will you come back home?"

"I can't. The Pope said I was to keep tabs on them."

The utter nonchalance of his tone snapped the leash on whatever temper she had. "You hate the Pope! And my father! You're doing this for her, I get that. But why are you staying away?"

His eyes hardened until they seemed like shards of ice placed in his face. "I never wanted to be in Meltokio in the first place. It's—it's suffocating. With this chance, I can stay away for as long as it takes for the other Chosen to get better and I'm going to take this chance."

Zelos strode out of the room. There was anger in his step and defiance in his shoulders. Hilda didn't see him again for two months.

* * *

 

Something had changed, not only between the both of them, but inside both of them as well. Hilda saw it as soon as they entered the room. Sheena was iron confidence and smooth movements, head held high and eyes sharp. Zelos was a little rougher, a little less like she'd known him, but he seemed so much more himself.

There was distance between them, though. Some gap that hadn't been there before. But they're still close, they still whispered with heads low and Zelos still called her 'darling'.

Their friends—Sylvaranti and Tethe'allans alike—healed her father. When they left, Hilda had wanted to go with them, after them. Wanted to be on their journey as well.

But her place was here, by her father. She knew that. And she could imagine her own mother, quiet, but never complacent, being here in the castle, helping her father with politics and playing the part of meek wife. And it was because of duty—Hilda knew her parents' marriage had been arranged, just as hers was, though the Chosen at the time hadn't been available since he had recently been engaged to the lovely, wintery Lady Mylene Antons—that Hilda's mother had stayed.

The decisions of women were never easy, Hilda thought.

* * *

 

When Zelos rescued her, she swore that she didn't recognize him as he fought the Papal Knights. He was fierce motion, all sharp jabs and powerful magic that thundered through the area. Sheena fought as well; all absolute grace and confidence, flipping and dodging and they were in a smooth sync, not just with each other, but with the others fighting with them too. Deciding on things without speaking, slipping in to defend weak spots that others left open.

Afterwards, Zelos smiled and reassured her. Sheena hadn't because the boy in red—young man really. He had to be nearly their age, but he seemed so _young_ —had called her and was talking to her, all bright, boyish grins and laughing excitement.

This was their life, Hilda thought. They fought often and hadn't even thought twice of fighting such trained men as the Papal Knights. And they'd won, with a fair amount of ease. It was as exhilarating as it was incredible. And frightening.

She didn't know these people anymore, didn't know the easy smile on Zelos' lips, eyes still pale, but more relaxed than she'd ever seen them and Sheena with her steel spine and she suddenly seemed more like a warrior than a woman. Her curves were not the first thing would notice about her now, nor how lovely her face was. It was all about the lean muscles of her arms and the powerful ones of her legs and the small throwing knives that Hilda could see poking out of a boot.

And perhaps Zelos wanted that—needed that, even. A person who could be both warrior and woman, who wouldn't flinch before him when his eyes went icy and the line of his mouth turned hard.

And Hilda was most certainly not that woman.

* * *

 

Hilda disappeared from the main party, needing air. Out of habit, she went to a familiar balcony and was surprised that she was surprised to see them there.

Zelos was as handsome as she remembered, his red hair braided back and his black clothes carefully tailored and tooled with silver designs.

Sheena—she looked exotic and seductive and everything a man could want. The dress—if it could even be called that, for there was very little material—was black and left very little to the imagination. Her hair was pulled neatly away from her face, making her eyes look wider and the knee high boots only made her look taller.

"Hey, Hilda," Sheena said, smiling, though she seemed a little distracted. Her arms were folded across her stomach—in cold or out of embarrassment, Hilda couldn't tell. Perhaps both.

"Hi. I didn't know you two were here. I'll just—"

"You weren't interrupting anything, if that's what you're worried about," Sheena assured her. Zelos nodded, but Hilda wasn't entirely convinced. It certainly looked like she had. She'd seen Zelos' hand on Sheena's hip before she'd come in, had seen the way Zelos had retracted his hand so fast that he could have been burnt. The two of them were still standing rather close to each other.

But rather than pointing out what she thought was a lie, Hilda simply said, "Of course not. You two are missing your own party."

Zelos smiled. "This party's for you, hunny. It's because you're safe."

"And you all rescued me. It's for you," Hilda insisted.

Zelos looked like he was about to say something when the boy in red—his name was Lloyd, as Hilda had recently learned, and he wasn't in red tonight, but rather a vision in white—poked his head around the wall.

"Hey, I found you guys!" Lloyd shuffled his feet a little. "Sheena, I wanted to talk to you."

Sheena blinked at him. "Me?"

Lloyd rolled his eyes in a friendly, exasperating sort of way. "How many girls do I know that are named Sheena?"

Sheena smiled and it looked different than it usually did, Hilda noted. It looked closer to the kind of smile that Zelos had when Sheena was around. "Probably not many. Lead the way."

As soon as Sheena and Lloyd disappear down the corridor, Zelos took Hilda's hand. "Would you like to dance with me?"

Hilda ignored the way that her heart was suddenly in her throat and beating much too fast. Be realistic, she told herself. It's not because of you, but because of Sheena. She wasn't an idiot, she saw what could be going on there and she knew that Zelos was in much the same situation as she was right now.

But they had only danced before when it was expected of them. At least, danced like the way everyone was dancing, close and in time with the music. They hadn't danced, really danced, since they were children and just kind of bouncing around to the music.

Hilda agreed without thinking about it, following Zelos out into the main hall and onto the dance floor.

Zelos felt very much like a man against her, his hand settled in between the small of her back and her shoulder blades—familiar, but not too familiar—and he smiled a little at her. Had his hands always been able to engulf hers so easily? Hilda had small, dainty hands, she knew, but surely never _that_ small? And when had he gotten so _tall?_

Somewhere along the way, Hilda thought, they'd grown up.

They danced easily, the movements learned long ago as part of court manners. But, suddenly, he twirled her out, and brought her back in easily, startling her. He flashed a grin and she found herself laughing because this felt much more like the way things should be.

* * *

There was coldness between them now, when Hilda looked at them, standing before the throne along with the other Heroes of the New World, as the people were calling them. Hilda didn't understand it, because there was no new closeness between Sheena and Lloyd to explain the cold.

They stayed in the castle for the first few days—her father insisted and they couldn't risk angering the only real political leader that the new world had.

She found them on purpose this time, having found Lloyd's room and asked for their whereabouts. Lloyd had said that he'd seen them heading out to the gardens about half an hour ago. Hilda had thanked him and quickly lifted her skirts to run. _(It's a wonderful feeling, not being encumbered by the dress, too stretch out her legs to their full extent...)_

Her mother would have been appalled.

Lloyd was right. They were still in the gardens and apparently in the middle of an argument.

"…why I did it, Sheena!" Zelos was saying and he looked almost desperate, one hand running through his hair, eyes never off of the woman in front of him.

Sheena's eyes flashed. "Yeah, I do. And it's more than just your sister. You know it and I know it."

Zelos seemed to struggle with himself for a minute before giving in. "Yes, it was. But it was mostly for Seles."

"Zelos, could you _please_ stop lying for five minutes?" Sheena said, fists clenched. "You already betrayed us. We were all there and you told everyone why. So why do you feel like you need to lie to me _now_ of all times? Is there something else that I don't already know?"

"No, of course not." Zelos looked insulted by the very idea.

"So then?"

"…Yeah, I did it for me. So I was tired of being the Chosen, sue me. We can't all be perfect ang—people," Zelos spat the word a little. "Like Colette."

Didn't want to be the Chosen? The words stung because if he wasn't the Chosen, than that had to mean that he'd been willing to betray all of these people—his friends—because he didn't want to be married to her. He wanted to be free to marry Sheena.

"No one ever asked you to be."

Zelos stared at her for a minute and Hilda knew that Sheena was wrong. Of course people had asked him to be. He was Tethe'alla's Chosen, a symbol of the Church. He should be perfect.

But then, Sheena had never treated him like a Chosen. She'd taken his mistakes in stride until now. But Zelos couldn't be a traitor.

Zelos' sudden chuckle was bittersweet and burned his lips. "Sheena, you can be refreshingly naïve, you know that?"

"Okay, so maybe they did ask you to be perfect," she conceded. "But we never did. All we want now is for you to own up to what you did."

Zelos exploded, the bush near him suddenly bursting into flame. "Yes, I betrayed you! Yes, I lied to you! No, I didn't like doing it and I would absolutely do it again."

Sheena only stared him down calmly, unflinchingly. "Are you done?"

"Am I—how can you be so calm about this?" Zelos spoke a word and suddenly, the bush was drenched and the fire put out. Hilda had never seen him use magic so casually. She'd never seen anyone do it like that.

"Because the both of us yelling isn't going to get anywhere. You betrayed us for Seles and for yourself. We all get that. Why didn't you ask us for help? Why didn't you come to us?"

Zelos stared at her and plopped onto a nearby bench. "…I don't know. I'm not used to asking for people for help, Sheena."

Sheena sat beside him, thighs pressed together. "...I know. I'm the same way sometimes."

Zelos chuckled and it was less bitter. "Only sometimes?"

She pushed him playfully with her shoulder. "Shut up, Wilder."

"…Can you forgive me?"

"Honestly?" Sheena took a deep breath to think about it. "Right now, no. I want to, but part of me is still angry that you betrayed us. But I don't blame you. I want things to go back to the way they were between us."

"Really?"

"Yeah." She looked at him, suddenly seeming a little fearful. "Why, don't you?"

"It'd be nice, darling, don't get me wrong. But I was thinking for something a little…different." He slipped his hand into hers, not looking away.

She read the look in his eyes. "Are you sure? I'm not—"

"Perfect? Awesome." His smile was a little shaky, but it was real and more than Hilda had ever gotten. "Neither am I."

He kissed her then, gently and carefully, even as she chuckled and pulled away, leaning her forehead against his. Hilda couldn't hear what was said then, but it made Zelos laugh and kiss her again. Hilda left then, knowing she was leaving her heart in the garden behind her.


End file.
